Things To Become That Does Not Cost Money

3. Be a listener

Many of the situations that we deal with on a daily basis are complicated.  Very few are black and white.  The other person usually has their side of things, their story, and their way of looking at things.

If we don’t take time to really understand what they are saying or how they see things, we usually are not going to be very effective in dealing with them.

We need to understand what we are confronting, and the only way that we are going to do that is by effectively communicating with those around us.

If we are going to find the solution to the problems that we are dealing with, either at work, or at home or at church, we have to talk and we have to listen in order to find out what is happening and what we need to do about it.

Listening is an active process.  It does not mean simply sitting silent and staring at someone.  To be effective in understanding another’s perspective and helping them through a difficult time, you need to do things which show interest and genuine concern.

Here are some things you can do to encourage other people to talk, especially in a crisis when people are upset.

1. Eliminate all distractions when listening to someone.  Put down the phone, tv remote, whatever and just focus on the person in front of you.
2. Make eye contact.  If you are really focusing on the person and looking at them, they will feel as though they are being heard.
3. Don’t make it about you.  When you turn the conversation into your story, it takes away the confidence and value of what the other person is saying.
4. Ask them questions.  When there is a pause in their speech, take that as an opportunity to ask them something.
5. Don’t judge them.  Avoid being the cross-examiner or faultfinder.

Learn to be a good listener!